Open your Eyes
by AufCat
Summary: Ayase's been having nightmares, but tries to act like nothings wrong when he's around Kanou. eventually the lack of sleep catches up to him, leaving Kanou very worried. suck at summaries sorry : p KanouxAyase shonen-Ai
1. Chapter 1

AN: Blarg well this is a fan fiction I've been writing for a few weeks now and its getting to the point where people kinda want to read it but I've only got the copy in my note book and my hand writing sucks, so I figured I'd at least make an attempt at typing it up ^_^. So this is going to be one really cliché piece of crap, but people seem to like that sort of shit and so do I so here it is XD also I'll be typing this all while listening to Miyavi ^_^ this has no relevance what so ever to the story, I just thought I'd make a mention of it because Miyavi is a GOD on the guitar XD

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Ayase woke with a start. Breathing heavy and a sheen of sweaty on his brow. It had happened again. He'd been having nightmares recently. Every night now it seemed. He was finding it harder and harder to get a decent nights sleep.

He glanced over to make sure Kanou was still asleep. He was. So he crawled out of bed and headed towards the bathroom. He splashed water over his face to try and chase away the remnants of the dream. He looked at himself in the mirror. He knew just by looking some one could tell he hadn't been sleeping well. He just hoped Kanou wouldn't notice it.

**Ayase's POV**

These dreams were really becoming a problem. It was finely starting to show on my face. I don't want Kanou to notice, he'd just worry, he's got enough work to take care of, he doesn't have to take care of me to. But I can't fall back asleep now, I've tried before but I never can.

I guess Kanou doesn't know, the reason I lived alone, the reason Tetsuo was my only family left. When my parents had been alive we didn't have any contact to the family on either side. Both families had had a falling out with each other and had strongly despised the idea of the two getting married. When they did both families disowned them.

Kanou know how my mo died. That she got very sick and couldn't get better. But my dad. He was so heart broken after mom died, he fell into a depression. One day he just couldn't take it. He had taken to many of his meds and was very belligerent, yelling and cursing, at any thing that moved, that would mostly be me. Then he had a knife. I tried to stop him, but I was to small back then, I'm still to small now I guess. But when I tried to stop him, he hit me in the back of the head. I was on the ground and couldn't move. I wish I would have passes out sooner. The image of him stabbing himself in the heart will forever haunt my mind.

I awoke with a start again. I hadn't realized I'd fallen asleep again. I'd been sitting on the couch thinking, must have drifted off to sleep. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was 4 in the morning. At least I'd gotten a bit more sleep. I need to get back to bed though, before Kanou notices I'm gone. He'd wonder.

I quickly made my way back into the bedroom. But when I got back on the bed Kanou started to get up. "Ayase? What are you doing up?" he asked in a gruff but groggy voice. Crap! I was hoping he wouldn't wake up. "uh…well…I woke up from a…dream, so I was just getting a drink of water before going back to bed." "A dream?" Kanou asked. "it was nothing, I can't even remember it, sorry I woke you" it's a lie, how could I not remember, I'd been having similar dreams every night for he past week.

**Normal POV**

Kanou gave a suspicious yet sleepy look. He let whatever his suspicions were slide as Ayase crawled back into the covers. Ayase pretended to go to sleep as he listened to Kanou drift back to dream land. He almost let out a laugh thinking about Kanou in a 'Dream land'. his Dreams were probably filled with money and sex. Ayase didn't fall back asleep for the rest of the night.

**Kanou's POV**

I was lightly roused from sleep by the feeling of a weight on the bed. When I opened my eyes I saw Ayase climbing back on. Why was he up? So I asked, "Ayase? What are you doing up?" he looked a bit fidgety. "uh…well…I woke up from a…dream, so I was just getting a drink of water before going back to bed." so that was it, but he still sounded a little suspicious. "A dream?" I asked. "it was nothing, I can't even remember it, sorry I woke you." he said quickly, he almost looked frightened, he's lying, I can tell. He does remember the dream, whatever it was. Maybe it had been a bad one.

I just wanted to hold him so he could go back to sleep peacefully. But I'm sure if I tried he'd flinch away, probably scared I'd say something like 'well, since we're both up…' and take him. I wish he knew I wasn't that cruel. Ok maybe I am a little, but I wouldn't try that right now.

He laid on his side, his back facing me. Ayase, I wish you could remember, it could be like back then, 4 years ago. I remember a night back then, you had a nightmare. And I held you while you cried for I know not how long. I remember you saying something about your father then. I've always wondered about what had happened.

It wasn't long before I drifted back to sleep. Maybe he'd talk about it in the morning.

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AN: ok I think I'll end chapter 1 there ^_^ Blarg, see, I meant it when I said it'd be cliché crap XD but the cliché is good. It'll get better, and more clichéd later : P


	2. Chapter 2

AN: ok, this is chapter 2, sorry its kinda short, but the next chapters all from Kanou's POV so i wanted to make them separate : P

Disclamer: I don't own Okane Ga Nai, nor will i ever, though if i did the anime would keep going like the manga, 4 episodes arn't enough, thered like 6 volumes of the manga out : p

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**Ayase's POV**

About half an hour before Kanou was going to get up, I crawled out of bed. I hadn't slept but I couldn't let Kanou notice. So I went to the bathroom to freshen up. After that I went to the kitchen and decided to make breakfast for when Kanou woke up.

I finished setting the table just in time to hear Kanou getting up to his alarm. When he emerged from the room I smiled up at him, trying to act cheery. "good morning Kanou-san." "what's all this?" he seemed a little surprised but not angry. "I got up before the alarm, so I thought I'd make breakfast." it wasn't a lie, I had gotten up before the alarm, about two and a half hours earlier.

**Normal POV**

Kanou gave a nod and the two sat down at the table. The two ate in silence for a while. When breakfast was done Ayase went to wash the dishes and Kanou went to take a shower and get ready for work.

Ayase didn't know how much longer he could keep this up. He hadn't gotten more than 3 hours of sleep a night for the past week. It was really starting to catch up with him. Kanou was sure to notice soon.

The day went as I normally did, Ayase went to work with Kanou and sat around as he worked. Occasionally talking with one of the Kuba brothers and once when Sanome came to bother Kanou. The two went home and Ayase went to make dinner.

**Ayase's POV**

Today had gone as any other. Me and Kanou got home and I went to start dinner while Kanou went to change out of his work clothes.

I was so tired I didn't know if I had the energy to make dinner. No, focus Ayase! It doesn't have to be any thing fancy, I'll just make something simple. I put some rice in the cooker and started a pot boiling on the stove. Instant curry would be perfect. Unlike sweets, Kanou loves spicy foods.

Soon enough the food was ready and I set the table and soon Kanou entered the dining area. Maybe it was just the kitchen but I was beginning to feel to warm. I decided to shed my hoodie. Kanou sat down and I served him. "sorry its not that fancy tonight, I uh…couldn't think of what to make." he gave a small smile. "I don't mind, it's been a while since I had curry, I've actually been craving it for a while. Thank you".

Kanou thanked me, that's very rare. He must be in a very good mood. Which means later he'll probably want to…damn, I'm not sure I'll be able to take that tonight. I still feel to warm. Though Kanou looks fine. Maybe its just me?

After dinner Kanou went to watch TV and I went to wash the dishes. I was still hot, I feared I'd soon be reduced to a gelatinous pool of Ayase on the floor. The water felt good, nice and cold on my hands. It felt so nice, I got lost in a daze, only to be brought from it by a sharp, stinging pain in my hand. I'd been cleaning a knife when I spaced out, and my hand slipped forward onto it enough to leave a fair sized gash.

SHIT! I tried to wash the blood off, tried to stop the bleeding. But it wouldn't stop. I started hyperventilating. There was so much blood and it woudn't stop. I felt like I was on fire and it was becoming increasingly difficult to breath.

I think I may have hit the counter, but I wasn't quite sure. What I did know was that I was on the floor now, and there was still more blood. I still couldn't breath.

I don't know how much time had passed, maybe only a second, but I couldn't tell. But Kanou was there, calling my name in a panic. "Ayase! Ayase! Answer me, what happened…Damn" every thing went black.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Blarg thank you all for your reviews ^_^ I'm glad you all like it so far. Lol listening to Miyavi and Gackt while I type again ^_^ only this time its on surround sound. Its like: Miavi+Gackt+surround sound=XD super happy fan girl writing fan fictions, lol. Any way, again, that had nothing to do with the story.

I know this fic isn't the best it could be, lol it's something I started in math class out of boredom, I haven't taken any time to try revising it and to be honest I'm much to lazy to. So yeah, it could be better, but I'm to lazy to make it so ^_^. Oh yeah, and while I was in math class I couldn't remember the name of the okama, I thought it was Soneme but it was really Someya : p not that big of a mistake but it bothered me none the less.

Disclaimer: I don't own Okane Ga Nai

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**Kanou's POV**

I got up to the sound of my alarm. I looked to my side and found that Ayase wasn't there. Where was he? Where would he be this early in the morning? As I emerged from the bedroom I saw him, he was in the kitchen setting breakfast out on the table. "good morning Kanou-san". when the hell had he gotten up? How was he that cheery so early, and after waking up in the middle of the night from a dream. He's usually not a morning person. "what's all this?"

"I woke up before the alarm, so I thought I'd make breakfast". even though he acted as energized as he could, I could see the dark circles under his eyes, when had he gotten up? Had he even gone back to sleep last night? Something was definitely wrong with him, but what? And why wasn't he telling me if something was wrong.

Never the less I gave a nod and sat down at the table to eat. After breakfast Ayase went to wash the dishes and I went to take a shower. After wards we left for work. The day went as it usually did. I kept myself busy with work. Ayase sat around, occasionally talking with one of the Kuba's and once when Someya showed up to interrupt my work. Stupid okama, I don't need him corrupting Ayase more than he already has.

Soon enough the day ended. When Ayase an I arrived at home, he went to start preparing dinner while I went to change out of my work clothes. Entering the dinning area I saw Ayase setting the table. He had made curry, oddly enough I'd been craving it for days. "sorry its not to fancy tonight, I uh…couldn't think of what to make." he gave a small smile and I could see hw tired he really was. "I don't mind, it's been a while since I had curry, I've actually been craving it for a while. Thank you".

When dinner was finished I went to relax and watch some TV while Ayase said he'd go wash the dishes. He really didn't look well. If he seems to get any worse I'll have to confront him about it. I could hear the water running in the kitchen as Ayase washed the dishes. The water had been running for maybe five minutes; when all of a sudden there was a bang, like something hit the counter, hard. What could Ayase be doing? But not a moment after the bang on the counter there was a thud on the floor. Something was wrong. I jumped up and quickly made my way to the kitchen.

There on the flood, was Ayase. There was blood on the counter and floor. I panicked, quickly kneeling down and gently lifting Ayase onto my lap. "Ayase! Ayase! Answer me, what happened…damn". He'd been barley conscious, seeming unfocused. The next thing I knew he has passed out. "Ayase! Ayase wake up! Ayase!"

Shit! This wasn't good. I went to inspect how bad the wound was, he'd hit his head on the counter. There was a gash on the right side of his head. It was then that I noticed how hot he was. He was burning up, must have been the fever that caused him to falter and hit the counter in the first place. Why hadn't he said anything? Did he hate me that much? That he'd let his own health get this bad before he came to me for help. It was now that I noticed his hand, and the large gash there as well. Had it been an accident? It had to have been, there's no way he'd do something like that to himself.

Ayase's breathing was heavy. The bleeding wasn't stopping. Shit, this is bad. I scooped him up as gently as I could and brought him into the living room and laid him on the couch. I quickly left to get the first aid kit and a wet towel.

I did the best I could to clean and bandage the wounds, but I'd still need to take him to the hospital. I didn't know what else might be wrong with him. This was just the best I could do. Damn it, why does it seem that no matter how much I want to protect him and take care of him, something like this happens.

I wrapped a jacket around him and picked him up. It didn't take ling to get to the parking garage, securing Ayase in the passenger seat.

On our arrival at the hospital I demanded to be treated immediately, threatening any one who told me we needed to wait. So in no time a doctor was wheeling him away on a stretcher to go get stitches. I sat in the waiting area for when the doctors were done and would let me see my Ayase.

**Normal POV**

Kanou was becoming impatient. He was just so worried about Ayase. After what felt like hours but was really only about 30 minutes, the doctor came over to Kanou. "Are you Kanou?" he asked. Kanou nodded, "How is Ayase?" "He'll be fine, he just needs to rest now. There are six stitches on his right hand and four on his head, luckily there was no concussion, but he's still suffering from a bit of a high fever. Its good you brought him in. you may go see him now if you'd like, though he's still sleeping at the moment".

Kanou followed the doctor into a room where Ayase laid in a bed sleeping. The doctor left and Kanou walked over to Ayase. There were bandages wrapped around his head. Kanou brushed the hair away from Ayase's face and gave a sigh. "Baka, why did you let yourself get this bad? Why didn't you just come to me, why didn't you say something, anything." Kanou pulled over a chair and sat next to the bed. He took Ayase's hand in his and laid his head on the bed. "I'm sorry Ayase, I wish I could be some one you weren't afraid to come to for help."

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AN: ok, sorry that chapter took a little while to get up, I've had it written our for like a week but I've been to distracted by other things to focus on sitting down and typing : p I kept meaning to get it done all spring break but I didn't, oh yeah, our school district is uber strange and we already had spring break, but it was more like winter break 2, it snowed the day break started, and its snowing today, it sucks I thought winter was finally almost over, it was raining yesterday and it was kinda warm out, now its freezing and its like a blizzard out. Freakin Minnesota, I love the state, but I have its crazy weather. Lol sorry I started to rant on there a bit.

Any way, THANK YOU ALL FOR READING ^_^ I'll try to update again soon.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: my goodness ^^" its been quite a while since I last updated hasn't it? I've got no excuse other than pure laziness. And the saddest part? I've had this story done since school ended ^^" so my sincerest apologies to my readers, I really thought I'd have the rest of the story up by now. I'm hoping the rest of the story should only take one or two more chapters. And I promise to get the rest of it up this time XD

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Kanou stayed there, still holding Ayase's hand. The doctor came back to check on Ayase's fever and to hook him up to an IV with a saline drip.

The doctor was about to leave when Ayase made a small sound. He walked back to the bed to see if the boy was waking up. It was soon apparent though that something else was wrong, Ayase began thrashing around.

"Ayase! Ayase what's wrong?" Kanou yelled, grabbing the boys shoulder; trying to shake him awake. Ayase continued to thrash, ripping the IV from his arm. The doctor moved to the other side of the bed to try and help Kanou restrain him.

Ayase's eyes finally opened as he sat up, gasping for air. "Ayase!" Kanou said, grabbing hold of him to get him to lay back down. "What's wrong? Ayase?" Ayase seemed startled to see Kanou next to him, and flinched away in surprise. Kanou backed off, obviously saddened by the thought that Ayase must be rejecting his touch. "Ayase…" he said softly.

Ayase gasped, "Kanou-san, gomene sai, I didn't, I…uh…where am…I?" he held his head for a moment and looked around. The doctor pulled his arm away from his head to inspect the damage the needle had done when it ripped from his arm. There was a small wound so he grabbed some antiseptic and a band-aid. "Your at the hospital. You collapsed from a fever and a bit of a bang to your head" the doctor explained.

After bandaging up Ayase's arm, the doctor reattached the IV to the other one. "alright, now try not to pull that one out, don't over exert yourself, you still have a bit of a high fever. So get some more rest, ok?" Ayase nodded in understanding and the doctor left.

There was an awkward silence that lingered between the two. "I'm sorry" Ayase said, looking down, his hair covering his eyes and the tears that brimmed in them. "For what?" Kanou asked, confused. "I caused you trouble again. I thought I could deal with it myself, I didn't want to bother you". The tears were falling freely from Ayase's eyes now.

**Ayase's POV**

I was having that nightmare again. Then I felt a sharp pain in my arm and woke up. I had trouble catching my breath at first, had I been thrashing in my sleep? "what's wrong? Ayase?" there was a voice next to me, and hands on my shoulder, trying to get me to lay down. It surprised me at first and I flinched away from whoever it was. "Ayase…" I heard them whisper softly.

Looking over I saw Kanou, I gasped "Kanou-san, gomene sai, I…uh…where am…I?" there was a dull throb in my head and my hand reflexively went to it to try and ease it. I was vaguely aware of the feeling of something warm dripping down it.

Some one took my arm and treated the now apparent wound there and explained that I was in the hospital and had a fever. He put an IV in my good arm and told me to be careful of it and to get some more rest. Then he left, and there was an awkward silence.

"I'm sorry" I said, lowering my head so Kanou couldn't see my eyes. I could feel the tears already. "For what?" he asked, seeming confused.

"I caused you trouble again, I thought I could deal with it myself, I didn't want to bother you". I could feel the tears slide down my face now. I really hadn't wanted to cause Kanou any more trouble. And though I didn't want to admit it, one of the reasons I hadn't wanted to cause trouble, was because I feared it would add on to my already impossible debt. I know Kanou was just doing business, but there was no way I'd be able to pay back the money I owed him. And now I'm sure the bill for this hospital trip would end up on the debt; and that was what I was trying to avoid in the first place.

**Kanou's POV**

"I caused you trouble again, I thought I could deal with it myself, I didn't want to bother you". so that had been it? He made himself suffer just because he didn't want to bother me? That idiot! Was he afraid of what I might do to him? Or that something like this would increase his debt?

He said he thought he could deal with it himself. Deal with what though, I wonder. What was he hiding? I let out a sigh, "Ayase. I don't care if you think your bothering me, I want you to be able to tell me when something is wrong. Do you know how worried I was? Or do you really despise me that much?"

**Ayase's POV**

What did he mean? I mean, I know I don't like some of the things he does, but I don't despise him. "Kanou-san…I don't…I don't despise you, not at all. I just…though…I didn't have to trouble you."

"And look where that got you!" he snapped back. He was right, "I'm sorry…" I whispered. Pulling my knees up and hiding my face in them. I knew I should have said something. But I feared Kanou might not have cared. He always did what he wanted to, but, he also always look out for me. He's saved me on a number of occasions. What made me think he didn't care? Was it just because my mind couldn't get passed the other things he'd done? No wonder Kanou though I despised him. But I really don't. I want to know Kanou better. I don't want him to think I hate him.

I was brought from my thoughts when there was a sudden weight on the bed, and gentle arms around me. The feeling surprised me completely. I looked up only to see Kanou, his eyes closed in what almost seemed like contentment.

"Kanou-san…" I whispered. He was being so gentle. Like he always was I realized. "Ayase" he whispered back. "it's alright. I'm sorry as well. I never wanted you to think you couldn't come to me for help. I know…we have a strange relationship, but…I don't want to see you end up like this again."

I leaned into Kanou. It was so comfortable, and almost nostalgic. At times like this, there was nothing he wanted from me, except comfort, for both him and me. Some how, I ended up crying into Kanou's shirt, until I felt to tired and dizzy to sit up strait any more. Realizing this, Kanou made me lay back down; brushing the hair from my face and gently grazing the bandage on my head. Sleep came so easily then, and again, there was a nostalgically familiar comfort I knew, from some long time ago.

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AN: ok, that chapters done ^_^ again, many apologies for taking so long, this was the second to last chapter. So there's still one more : ) and this time, I promise, promise, promise it'll be up faster than it took me to get this one up XD

Hope the chapter was good. I considered stopping my constant switching of POV's, but I still wanted to show thought's from both sides, so I left it in, though I don't think it was so bad this chapter. I know it was still short, but I never wrote it in chapters, so I'm just cutting it up for chapters at points that seem good.

And once again, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING ^_^


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